What the _____, Sweet Child?


January 10, 2012 by Melissa

I’ve sworn at my kids.  There, I’ve said it.  Now, let me be clear, I’ve only sworn at them when they’re in their infancy and only to express my extreme displeasure with them while they’re keeping me awake, or screaming for no reason.  Plus it makes me or my husband laugh when I do it in that maternal sing-songy voice.  “What the f*#! is wrong with you, Alice?  Why are you being such a cute little sh*@, huh?”  I felt sort of bad about this as only moms feel guilty about every stupid thing but then I heard about the book, Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach with an audio version read by none other than Samuel Jackson.  It’s brilliant and hilarious and I highly recommend it.  In fact I think every new parent should have a copy just for the comic relief.

Think what you will about swearing but I find it sometimes is the spice of our language-expressing things no other words can.  I almost completely cut out swearing after I had my first kid but sleep deprivation and frustration bring it out in me, I admit.  I’m ok with it.  They don’t know what I’m saying when they’re infants, do they?  Now watch, some study will come out that says kids sworn at in infancy grow up to be emotionally stunted felons or something.  Oh, f*@k ‘em.  My girls know they are loved.  Mommy just turns into a sailor once in a while…

9 thoughts on “What the _____, Sweet Child?

  1. sarah dass says:

    That’s so funny, I did the same think with Logan. I am a bit sad to be honest that now I have to say words like “sugar” instead! Lol sometimes you just need to be a sailor! 😉

  2. Melissa says:

    Yeah, “Oh goodness gracious,” and “Gosh darn it,” just don’t feel as good…LOL!

  3. Gina says:

    Amen sister! That is hilarious and I do the same thing. Getty and Finn got Brian the “Go the F#*k to Sleep” book for Christmas. Of course, they don’t know they got it for him but we love it. Sometimes you just can’t help yourself!

  4. June Schubert says:

    That book is hilarious. Also go to Youtube and listen to a grandma reading it (with grandchild on her lap). The reading is interspersed with “This is a bad book!” and other comments. But she keeps on reading! (She always finishes what she starts, I guess.) And I listened to a version where a British woman (who used to have a pre-schooler tv show in Britain) reads it in her sweetest voice.

    Yes, I also said bad words, although I think I thought them more. But be careful that Lucy isn’t nearby. She’s probably at the “parrot” stage and could call it out when you are in the middle of B&N!

    • Melissa says:

      Don’t worry, June, I don’t swear around Lucy-this is just for those private moments between Alice and I! Lucy got her earful when she was a baby, too, though…

  5. lynn says:

    there was some outrage when that book came out. unfit for kids! really? can we say satire? apparently not. 🙂 any parent who says they never thought what this book says is lying.
    love your posts melissa!

  6. Steph says:

    Ok, I must be a really bad mom, My kids are 12, 12 and 13 and I have sworn at them at this age. They are appalled when I do and that puts me in my place and makes me feel like a loser.

    • Melissa says:

      I don’t know how you wouldn’t swear often with 3 tween/teens in your house! If I didn’t swear, they wouldn’t hear me speak! How do you do it?
      By the way, that age group specializes in making adults feel like losers…:)

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