January 16, 2012 by Melissa
I frequently forget that I have good kids. In fact they’re really good kids but spending each day saying some version of “no” to my two year old and spending a lot of time rocking my 3 month old to sleep clouds the fact that they are, indeed, good. Sometimes it takes a trip to grandma’s house to watch them with other people to make me remember and to be proud that I’m their mom.
My father-in-law’s birthday was this past weekend so we trekked up to our hometown for some family time. Lucy and Alice had all the attention they could ask for and were dream children (it might help that they don’t hear the word “no” at grandma and grandpa’s or at grandma and pop-pop’s house). Lucy was polite, and said please and thank you abundantly. She lavished compliments about the cake. She was excited to see her great-grandma June. She was lovey and cuddly with me and with her sister. She was excited about everything shown her by her grandparents. It is just what I needed to once again be so grateful that she is my lovely daughter.
I feel guilty every day that I’m not giving her the attention she deserves as I have a 3 month old under wing. Despite the fact that Alice is a really good baby, she still needs a lot of attention and I find myself getting frustrated with Lucy for wanting to play with her or myself when I’m trying to get Alice to sleep. While I know that she is just longing for some interaction, my guilt fuels my frustration. After all, aren’t I home to help alleviate that guilt? Does any mom ever feel like her kids get the attention they need? I can’t imagine being a single parent or the parent of multiples. The answer must lie somewhere in what attention I give, how I frame it, what I expect of a day, how I tell my Lucy “no” so that she’s not so frustrated. I just haven’t figured it all out yet, but I’m working on it. These kids are too good not to. I must have figured some stuff out, though, as this weekend showed me.
Any words of wisdom? What have you learned that you can share?