January 17, 2012 by Carin
We are told throughout our lives to not judge others and probably more importantly as a mother we know we should not judge other mothers. We all do things our own way, the way it works for our families that allows us to remain sane and happy. But sometimes you just see something that makes you shake your head because you are so annoyed by a simple thing as dumb as a pacifier. But let me explain. Not a pacifier in a baby who is crying and needs comfort, but a pacifier in for example a 3 yr old. Like I said I should not judge, but I am. Kids three and up by this time should have developed coping mechanisms that a baby doesn’t have. They can express themselves, suck their thumbs, hold a lovey, ask for a hug or find a quiet spot. They have the mechanisms to comfort themselves and they very well should. I often wonder if it isn’t so much the problem of the child, but the parent who doesn’t want to take the time to help their child work through their issues with needing the pacifier. Countless times I have seen older toddlers out in public trying to talk to their parents or others with their pacifier in their mouth and you can’t understand a thing they are saying. Come on parents help your child out.
People who know me know I have a daughter who sucks her thumb. It is her coping mechanism and the older she gets, the less she sucks her thumb. But when she is trying to talk to us, most likely she has removed her thumb and talks to us unencumbered. Because of her thumb sucking, you are probably thinking double standard. But I don’t put her in a cart at Target and wheel her around with her thumb permanently stuck in her mouth like when I was there over the weekend and spotted what appeared to be a 3 or 4 year old girl with a pink pacifier in her mouth. I had to shake my head. I wouldn’t ever say anything to another parent because I am Minnesotan and passive aggressive when it comes to complete strangers. But like I said above, whatever works for your family, just know that my skin will be crawling.
As I write this I am thinking of my 7.5 month old who uses a pacifier to fall asleep and sometimes we give it to him outside of the crib, but most of the time he is without it. This could bite me in the ass one day and with my luck, because he uses a pacifier, we will have a toddler who loves his pacifier and will always want it. If that day does come I will draw the line at leaving the house with the pacifier, because well it drives me crazy and I don’t want to be “that” parent.
Is there that “one” that you see other parents letting their child do that just drives you crazy?