February 14, 2012 by Gina
I love “Confession Tuesday” but this confession may be a bit difficult to write about. I guess that’s the point – it is a confession. If it were easy, we’d call it something else entirely. I even asked my husband to do a guest confession and he said, “I can’t – I need to write my newsletter for reserves”. Guess that option is gone so here is my confession…
After childbirth, my sex drive is REALLY low. Getty is now eight months old and between the recovery of childbirth and breastfeeding, my libido hormones (are there such things?) have all but disappeared. The same thing happened after I had Finn, but Brian deployed for a year when Finn was four months old so it didn’t really matter.
Like so many other issues surrounding motherhood, I hadn’t anticipated a change in my sex drive or my sexual relationship with my husband. It just never crossed my mind and it’s not something people readily discuss. Of course, I understood a child would completely turn my world upside down and impact my relationship with Brian in many ways, but I hadn’t thought about sex so much (but Brian has!).
Since it’s happened with both boys after childbirth, I’ve thought about it quite a bit. It’s only natural that I (and many other women) would experience a low libido post-partum. Think about it – your body just went through a major physical change, your hormones are completely out of whack, you are physically and emotionally exhausted and you have another human being who is completely dependent on you. Of course you aren’t going to want to jump in the sack with the person who just caused all of this!!
Thankfully, Brian is a loving and understanding partner. We’ve talked about this issue many times and we continue to have a healthy and happy sex life (boy…you readers are going to know more about me than I thought!). I think that communication is really important in this instance. If I hadn’t expressed how my low libido is affecting me, Brian might feel unloved, undesired or just misinterpret what’s going on with me at the moment. That could lead to serious problems in our relationship. So, we’ve tried to keep the lines of communication open. This isn’t always easy for Brian. Heck…it’s hard for me to understand and it’s happening to me.
I know that my low libido will change in the coming months. It did when I stopped breastfeeding Finn and I’m sure it will with Getty too. If it doesn’t, I’ll talk to my doctor about it and we’ll come up with a plan. Don’t feel alone if this has happened to you – ask for help from your partner, your friends or medical professional. It’s just another “normal” part of the childbirth process if there is such a thing!