February 28, 2012 by Carin
I have to admit, there are several times a week I think of what our life would be like without kids. A few night ago while my husband and I were watching TV, I asked him what he thought our life would be like if we didn’t have kids. He laughed and then said our vacation would have been longer, less debt, probably would have moved by now, would have vacationed more, we would both have more of a social life and would spend more nights sleeping uninterrupted then not. I would also be working full time and having daily adult conversations! I agreed and then quickly zoned out from a crazy kid day and finished watching whatever was on TV at the time.
I often think of what our life as husband and wife would be like without our two kiddos. All the things I listed above seem great and I would love. We have friends who don’t have kids and there are days I envy them for their freedom for doing just about anything they want whenever they want. I can’t schedule a haircut without consulting my husband to make sure he will be home early enough on a particular night to watch the kids. Having kids does limit what you can and can’t do on just about a daily basis. Not having kids would make life easier and less complicated.
Some days it seems like the kidless life would be a better option, but only when it is “one of those days” when you feel totally wiped out by kid drama at 10am. Other days it seems so remote and unimaginable to not have kids. But it was our choice to have kids. We married each other knowing we wanted at least two and dreamt of the things we would do with them at every stage of their life. Life without kids would present a lot more adult experience that would add to our life in many aspects. But life with kids adds so much more than an adult only life can allow.
Everyday I marvel at all the little things my kids have learned to do. I mean really, when do you get to see the transformation a little baby blob goes through from being unable to do anything to feeding themselves, crawling and making one syllable sounds to eventually walking, talking, running and being crazy? I am always in awe when I think of how fast they change and how you would never see those changes if we didn’t have kids. My husband and I are always looking at each other when we are caught off guard by a phrase or joke Grace has learned and used on us, leaving us both speechless and laughing.
Life with kids is different everyday. My patience is constantly being test and I am learning everyday to be more patient, talk more kindly and be present in the moment. Then there are the things I can’t wait to do as they get older and experience through the eyes of Grace and Myles. Like, before we had kids we thought we would never go on a Disney Cruise or go to Disney World. But now we can’t wait till they are old enough so we can experience that excitement through them, just like when we were kids. Or swim independently, go on a first sleepover or play that first competitive game of football or soccer. Those are the fun things; the memory makers that we get to relive and remember our “firsts”.
Life without kids would be easier and filled with more adult fun, but I love my kids and cherish our choice to bring them into our life and marriage. They add perspective, memories, a chance to be a better adult and savor our adult fun and really experience things again through their eyes.
Having kids allows you to the privilege of experiencing life as a child again, but with all the wisdom of being an adult. What could be better then that?