Confession Tuesday {3.6.12}

3

March 6, 2012 by Gina

Sometimes…I yell at my kids.  I’m not proud of it and let’s be honest, if I’m yelling at my kids, it’s usually the almost-3 year old.  I know in my head and in my heart that yelling at my son is not a good idea and really doesn’t get him or I anywhere.  Yet, when Finn is in the middle of a 60-minute meltdown and I can’t get him to calm down no matter what I’ve done or haven’t done, I sometimes lose my cool.  It’s embarrassing and I feel guilty and like the worst mother in the entire world afterward.  I also know that this is normal – no parent can be a bastion of strength and calmness all the time (deep breath).

Finn is a very spirited and independent boy.  I know these traits will serve him well as he grows into a boy and a man.  I want him to make his own choices, be spontaneous, be strong-willed and be a leader.  I just don’t want him to use those same traits as a 2-year-old who refuses to have his poopy diaper changed (unfortunately for all of us, he shows no desire to be potty trained).  I will be able to smell Finn from across the room, ask him or tell him that it’s time to have his diaper changed and usually be met with a definitive “NO”.  During these moments, I’ve tried everything – silliness, playfulness, discussion, rationalizing, stern words, consequences, counting to three – you get the idea.  Sometimes one of these tactics works and we successfully have a diaper change without any problem.  Other times, a major meltdown comes out of nowhere and I either remain calm and let him work through it or blow my top and yell at him to lay down and change his diaper.  At the point we finally get a fresh, clean diaper on, his butt is a flaming mess because he has ultra sensitive skin and then another meltdown occurs because it hurts to wipe the poop from his butt.

I am just using this changing diaper situation as a scenario in which I’ve lost it and yelled at Finn.  It is usually over these mundane, everyday tasks that my own meltdown of sorts occurs.  Most days, I handle the tantrums and mood changes of an independent two-year old with all the tricks a professional mother has in her bag and it’s no big deal.  But sometimes, I can’t take it and I’ll slip up and yell at my son.  My husband and I have discussed this on many occasions and try to come up with ways to channel Finn’s energy and wilfulness.  It’s a challenge and parenting is a really tough job every single day.  I know that most days Finn and Getty are getting the best mother and father for them.  Some days, mistakes are made, even in parenting and I apologize and move forward.  I love my boys more than anything and I hope they will always know that at their very core.  They are loved…even if their mom sometimes has a bad day too.

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3 thoughts on “Confession Tuesday {3.6.12}

  1. Carin says:

    We all yell at sometime or another and that doesn’t mean we aren’t good mothers. They know they are loved and that is all that matters and as they get older and you still lose it once in awhile, then it is a good teaching moment. Sometime walking away would probably help, but that isn’t always an option, like when safety is an issue for them or others in the area, so you do what you can and if it is yelling and it gets their attention, then so be it. You do what you gotta do!

  2. Sarah says:

    Having one of those days today (ALREADY at 8:30 am!). Thanks for the post – so I know I’m not the only one 🙂

  3. Sarah Dass says:

    I so hear you on this. This is often what happens at our house too. Our kids are strong willed, and yes we want them to be that way, but not when we are trying to get something done like change a diaper! there have been times when I have put myself in a time out in our room because i know I will just lose it. So i am taking a mind clearing moment in the bedroom and Logan is screaming his lungs out in the living room…ah the good times 🙂

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