March 27, 2012 by Gina
It’s our favorite day of the week…Confession Tuesday! It’s my favorite because these confessions really make me think about my role as a parent, my successes and failures (in many different areas of my life), motherhood in general and so many other aspects of my life. It is also difficult…to be so honest and to tell your story.
This week’s confession is written by my friend Sarah. I haven’t known Sarah very long but she and I are actually from the same hometown and she had my dad as a math teacher in junior high (small world!). She is a wonderful mother to three active, fun and healthy boys, ages (almost) 6, 4 and 1. Sarah is calm and collected and is the type of person you know will give you honest advice when you need it. Here is her confession:
Maybe these aren’t your standard confessions but when I think of the things I want (or don’t want) to confess, I often think of the surprises that came with this whole mothering deal. So here’s my list 🙂
*I never expected I could sit on the floor and play for hours and still feel exhausted at the end of the day.
*I never expected something as simple as making dinner to be so challenging some days.
*I never expected to be so excited to hear my baby say “mama.”
*I never expected to be SO tired!
*I never expected that the hour before Andy got home from work could take so very long.
*I never expected that I could be with someone all day and still feel lonely sometimes! (a LOT of times during some phases)
*I never expected that I would be so excited to see a two-year old’s look of pride from riding his trike up a hill.
*I never expected that I would sometimes not take a shower until after noon (or maybe not at all).
*I never expected I would love to mow the lawn so much…because it’s my quiet, alone time outside.
*I never expected I had it in my to not get sick to my stomach while changing a particularly explosive diaper or after getting thrown up on.
*I never expected I could love my husband more just by watching him be Daddy!
*I never expected nap time would be so sacred!
* I never expected to be both overjoyed and bitter at the thought of nursing another baby.
*I never expected that sometimes I would let my child cry through Target because I wasn’t going to give in to the demand and I really needed to finish my shopping.
*I never expected that sometimes I would just give in to my whining child’s demand to keep them quiet in Target.
*I never expected that some days the only time my house is picked up is before we even wake up.
*I never expected that I would care so much about vegetable consumption.
*I never expected that I would not freak out when my child eats the days old cheerio out of the sweeping pile.
*I never expected that I would be so addicted to Diet Coke…seriously, I get out of bed craving my magic juice!
*I never expected that I would fear so many things happening to my kids.
*I never expected to care so much what my mama friends think that I go out of my way to make organic baby food, dress my kids a certain way, etc., just to get their approval.
* I never expected that I would need my mama and my mama-in-law so much…for help, for encouragement, for a reality check.
* I never expected that I would use the excuse “I know I should eat healthier and exercise more but I seriously don’t have time!”
* I never expected I could feel so much love, frustration, self-defeat, blessing, anger, joyfulness, bitterness, hopefulness…
*I never expected to feel so much…of everything!
When I read Sarah’s confession, so many of these revelations hit home with me…needing my Diet Coke, the tiredness, the onslaught of feelings and the loneliness. I want to write more about many of these topics and hope to do so in a future blog. Thank you Sarah for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You’ve written beautifully about what so many of us parents feel and sometimes are afraid to voice!