May 9, 2012 by Gina
If you are a parent (and I’m sure this will apply to children of all ages), then you realize intimacy with your partner isn’t as easy as it used to be! I don’t mean…that sex itself is harder. I mean…it’s harder to fit it into your schedule, spontaneity is almost out the window and that sometimes you get your signals crossed. On top of that, you’re tired, the kids are up all hours of the night or you’ve been touched and pulled and groped all day by your children and have little left to give to your partner. Am I hitting any chords here with anyone? Does this ever happen in your household?
For example, Brian and I often want to have sex or be intimate with each other. We just can’t seem to want it on the same day! I’ll want to be intimate one day and he’s got so much going on or he’ll be in the mood another day and I’m saying “no way!” I feel like we need a code word; a safe word. You know, so that if one of us uses the word in a sentence, we’ll know the other person is interested but we don’t have to come out and say it! Plus, that gives the other person some time to mentally prepare, relax or say no.
The problem is, I can’t for the life of me come up with a code word. It can’t be something that I often talk about like “ice cream”. I can’t say, “Honey, I’m really in the mood for ice cream” because what if I just want to eat some ice cream and not have sex?! It can’t be too boring or obvious like “I’m heading to bed (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)!”. DUH! A three year old could figure that one out or perhaps you do just want to go to bed. It’s probably been a long day (or days)! Do you see my problem here? I’ll try to come up with something, but in the end, maybe we just need to be a bit more obvious on those days we’re each feeling more in the mood. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything!