June 5, 2012 by Melissa
This could be a confession or a helpful tip…depends on who’s reading it. I know this is gross but here goes: there are some days when I miss the window of opportunity to poop in privacy with no time constraints so I have to wait until I’m practically pooping my pants before I go to the bathroom to have a b.m. when I’m home with the girls. Because if I’m in the bathroom for more than 45 seconds there could be mass anarchy when I get out: some sort of head trauma, phone calls placed to strangers in strange lands or, as happened recently, data charges on my phone, or a small electrical fire may greet me when I depart the bathroom. You have never seen such speed, especially now that my youngest is mobile and hell bent on finding trouble. Not only do I have to go quickly, I also have to do it with the door wide open and usually a curious three year old checking on me. “You ok, Mommy? Good job pooping!” Thanks, Lucy. I haven’t been complimented on that in several years.
Isn’t that a pretty picture? Don’t I live a glamorous life?