Missing the details


November 28, 2012 by Carin

Yesterday a dear friend of mine went into labor….YEA!!  I went to visit knowing it was going to be awhile before she delivered and give her some company to pass the time.  We have both delivered our babies at the same hospital within day or weeks of each other.  Lucky for me, I will not be delivering a baby this time, just her!

But walking into Labor and Delivery was a little surreal.  This time I was walking into a place that I had blocked from my mind; you know how you forget the pain of delivery and the recovery?  Well I think I blocked the few days spent in the hospital after delivery.  I walked down hallways that felt foreign, as if I had never been there before.   I realize that nothing about most hospital experiences are memorable, but I didn’t recognize a lot.  I remember how uncomfortable the beds where, mainly because my butt hurt from sitting so much, I remember how large the delivery rooms are compared to the post-postpartum room.  The feel of the rooms, smell and look of the area were long forgotten.

As I sat there with my friend reminiscing about our past deliveries and the feelings you have or don’t have while holding your new baby, I realized I remembered the emotions of being in the hospital.  We talked and walked and I remember the first time around feeling empty as I held my daughter and being completely wreaked physically and then the complete opposite with my son.  I was happy, felt great and so much more excited to be a mom.  I have written about both experiences her on the blog, but I never realized I would forget everything but the emotions.

While I am very happy with our family and it is truly complete.  I miss knowing what my new baby smelled like or how little my new baby felt in my arms or their cries for comfort.  What it really comes down to is how fast time really does fly and one day you realize that you can’t remember what your children were like as babies.  The emotions have stuck with me, but the details have slowly slipped away and part of me is sad that those details are gone.  Luckily for me I have a couple of friends having babies that can help me remember those details that are locked away deep in my memory.  Maybe they will surface or maybe the details will remain locked away for when I am old and grey and need a memory to remind me of my wonderful past.

3 thoughts on “Missing the details

  1. maloumom123 says:

    Wish I was with to share and talk about memories. Sending Hugs 🙂

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